BLIND DATE DEFINITIONS?

Numerous well definition friends and kin have been regularly peaceful to "fix up" gullible bachelors with girls whom they report as "perfect for you".

However, from the outline given, it is formidable to suppose what these girls might be like. After substantial research, as a open service, I have attempted to interpret a small of these detailed
phrases in to solid English:

dandy small residence keeper:
She has been tied together 3 times and kept all the houses

fine character:
She's nauseous

knows how to hoop money:
She's a extravagant and great at spending yours

spotless reputation:
She's nauseous

strong family ties:
She's a Mafia Princess

loves children:
She's profound and needs a father

wonderful personality:
She's fat

great clarity of humor:
She's fat and will giggle at anything you contend

the outside type:
She hunts, fishes, chews tobacco, and shaves usually similar to the guys

ready to solve down:
She's thirty-five, in a state of panic, and failing to wed

likes to have a great time:
She gets dipsomaniac a lot

lots of fun at parties:
Often creates an donkey of herself

mature woman:
She's at slightest thirty, but looks at slightest forty-five

has the coming of a immature propagandize girl:
She's at slightest thirty-three, but dresses similar to a teen

casual:
She dresses similar to a slob

decorated her own place:
Her unit resembles a pig dump

a great dancer:
She'll wear the soles right off your boots

not overly emotional:
She usually cries twenty-seven times a day

doesn't follow men:
She's some-more of a mousetrap or a black widow spider sort

seldom dates:
She's a lesbian who needs a masculine chaperon for something

understands men:
She's been tied together and divorced 4 times

a great sport:
She knows dual hundred jokes and can splash you underneath the list

looks and dresses similar to a model:
She's five eleven and weighs seventy 3 pounds

been in show business:
She's a former porn movie star

traveled a lot:
She's searched high and low for a father

knows a lot of engaging people:
None of whom would wed her

wonderful disposition:
She's ugly