Oct
20
AM I THE PROBLEM HERE? DO I NEED MY HEAD CHECKED?
ByMsTrust asked:
I've been dating a male which is 5 years younger than I am for 5 months. In the commencement he seemed utterly grown up and I gave him a chance, via the final 4 months he's turn clingy(needs to see me all the time or he whines about it), does zero alternative than see me and wait for for me to be available. We do not go out on dates, we usually outlay time at his pig dump of an unit celebration drink with his roommate, fool around video games and watch t.v. I've attempted to speak to him about how I feel usually for him to turn defensive and similar to a child as if I'm a primogenitor reprehension him for no reason. I'm 31, I feel as yet I merit improved than this, but can't appear to mangle up with him. He does have a little great qualities…He paid for me flowering plants for my birthday and took me out to dinner, he's really affectionate(sometimes as well most for my liking). Is it me? Am I usually seeking for faults or am I right in finale it and seeking for a some-more grown up partner.
I attempted to get him to do alternative things with me, we have set up a date night once a week, but instead of creation an bid and meditative of things which we competence suffer you do together, he puts it only on me. Never has any ideas, never contributesm usually asks me what I wish to do each and each wednesday.
I've been dating a male which is 5 years younger than I am for 5 months. In the commencement he seemed utterly grown up and I gave him a chance, via the final 4 months he's turn clingy(needs to see me all the time or he whines about it), does zero alternative than see me and wait for for me to be available. We do not go out on dates, we usually outlay time at his pig dump of an unit celebration drink with his roommate, fool around video games and watch t.v. I've attempted to speak to him about how I feel usually for him to turn defensive and similar to a child as if I'm a primogenitor reprehension him for no reason. I'm 31, I feel as yet I merit improved than this, but can't appear to mangle up with him. He does have a little great qualities…He paid for me flowering plants for my birthday and took me out to dinner, he's really affectionate(sometimes as well most for my liking). Is it me? Am I usually seeking for faults or am I right in finale it and seeking for a some-more grown up partner.
I attempted to get him to do alternative things with me, we have set up a date night once a week, but instead of creation an bid and meditative of things which we competence suffer you do together, he puts it only on me. Never has any ideas, never contributesm usually asks me what I wish to do each and each wednesday.
Something else which strikes me as really juvenile is his need to regularly reason me, reason my hand, lick me, reason my face all the time and if I have any try to ease him divided from which sort of function it's since "I do not similar to him anymore" or "I'm in a bad mood". He doesn't appear to learn which in a normal attribute it's ok to be in the same room but crawling all over one another.
4 Comments
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:06 am
So what if he has good qualities….you know the famous serial killer Ted Bundy had good qualities too and I wouldnt wish my worst enemy to end up with him. Dump him he is a child and will not change nor grow any time soon. I mean all he does is play video games and wants ot hang out in his crummy apartment. If I was you I would expect more from my relationship.
October 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
he sounds controlling he is probably very intimated by you and seeks to make you look/feel bad so you will stay with him. i would leave asap, i've been there and done that girl. leave now before the beer he drinks gets violent.
and for the nice things he does is that what your basing your relationship on. those few nice things he does he should be nice all the time and not be that way. you need someone and this goes for anyone, you need someone you can communicate with. number one rule to any successful relationship whether it be a friend of bf communication.
i wouldn't under any circumstances stay friends with him after the break up. don't be surprised if he stalks you, you may need to get a restraining order on him.
sorry good luck!
October 27th, 2009 at 9:21 am
No, you don't need your head checking. At 26 years old, he should still be slightly more mature - relationship wise, lifestyle also. Perhaps he hasn't had many adult/long lasting relationships in the past. Maybe he even had a past girlfriend who he loved so much, but ended up breaking his heart and is therefore scared to open up properly.
Try to talk to him about it, tell him you want him to open up a little more, to actually talk to each other for a change, otherwise you're going nowhere and you see no point in staying together because in order for a real relationship to work, you need to COMMUNICATE. If he still doesn't come round (or doesn't want to), then you know it's your time to leave, and at least you tried.
October 28th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
The problem here is you've both got into a rut. You're still supposed to be dating. Dating in the sense that once a week you should be dressing up and going somewhere nice. There's romance in that. Ask yourself where the romance has gone. Is he romantic on occasions other than your birthday? Does he take you for granted? Hanging out at your man's apartment is fine if you're enjoying it, if not take a rain check. Go and do something you enjoy instead. Don't let him get dependent on you. He may eventually come around to your way of thinking. He might not, but then you'll definitely know what to do.