Jul
11
QUESTION FOR MATURE THINKERS, MEN & WOMENS OPINIONS APRECIATED,THANKS X?
Bycoia asked:
Do you find which once your comparison 25+ creation brand brand brand new friends is unequivocally difficult? I work from home,so do not get the possibility to encounter brand brand brand new people by a work environment, & after a sure age your friends solve down, move divided or have been not as accessible as they once were (totaly normal,I know). I find if im in a coffee emporium or wherever, if I grin at someone, or ask a question, they turn 'startled', like, if they dont already know you, they cant speak back? I used to be utterly uncertain when I was younger & hated crowds, I am still a sincerely introverted person, but only infrequently it would be good to speak with others which move brand brand brand new practice and points of perspective to my mind! (hence i'm on here) There seems to be loads of online 'dating' sites, but is there any alternative genuine approach to encounter likeminded people (friends) to lighten up & give some-more accumulation to your life?
I forgot to discuss I have an 18month old son & my partner functions at the alternative finish of the country,so going out in the evenings to groups or clubs is a no go x
Gee lokidrew, hearten me up whydontcha?
Do you find which once your comparison 25+ creation brand brand brand new friends is unequivocally difficult? I work from home,so do not get the possibility to encounter brand brand brand new people by a work environment, & after a sure age your friends solve down, move divided or have been not as accessible as they once were (totaly normal,I know). I find if im in a coffee emporium or wherever, if I grin at someone, or ask a question, they turn 'startled', like, if they dont already know you, they cant speak back? I used to be utterly uncertain when I was younger & hated crowds, I am still a sincerely introverted person, but only infrequently it would be good to speak with others which move brand brand brand new practice and points of perspective to my mind! (hence i'm on here) There seems to be loads of online 'dating' sites, but is there any alternative genuine approach to encounter likeminded people (friends) to lighten up & give some-more accumulation to your life?
I forgot to discuss I have an 18month old son & my partner functions at the alternative finish of the country,so going out in the evenings to groups or clubs is a no go x
Gee lokidrew, hearten me up whydontcha?
8 Comments
July 12th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
You could pop into your local library to find out if there are any club/societies of interest. How about friends reunited to get back in touch with some old friends?
July 14th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I can't comment on 25+, but I do know that making new friends outside work can be quite difficult - in fact work can sometimes make it difficult to meet up your friends you've already got. You can try attending (local) social / networking events. Meetup seems like a good site to look for these because there are so many groups on this, you're bound to find something you're interested in. You may also find it worth your wild starting a course which would involve having to work with the same people over a certain amount of time - like creative writing, or a dance class.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Go to church or do volunteer work in your community…
July 16th, 2009 at 8:59 am
It is a little harder once you are older….at first. Once you get used to being in places that the younger meet to date, being out in the everyday makes it harder. But, just make a habit of making small talk with people while in line (not too much), when in the coffee shop. You'd be amazed at where I found some of my best friends. Another thing that will begin to take shape in your life is that you don't NEED that many friends or acquaintances. You tend to have a circle of friends that you consider true friends. Keep trying…it will happen.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
I do agree, but i will add that the older i become, the less i crave new friends and I have become more discerning about friends in general.
what you say about people being startled I really think is just modern britishness in action, as to say…. "why are you talking to me what do you want".
instead of "Hi, I'm pleased to meet you", We now have a culture of suspicion of strangers & it makes it hard to break through.
I'm quite an introvert myself & what do i see for myself and many like me, little else but a very lonely old age in this land.
sorry to be so gloomy.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Nope.
I'm 50 and find it as easy now as it has ever been to forge new contacts (I don't really do friends). But then I suppose I get plenty of opportunities to meet new people; possibly more than some others because of the nature of my work and general lifestyle.
Your best bet to meet new people is to expand your horizons as much as possible in the real world. This place, the net, is all illusory. For every genuine article you'll find two others who are living out their strange little fantasies, and seek only to embroil you in them. It's tenanted by far too many brain surgeons, rock stars, new-age mystics, lottery winners and sex gods to be of use to lesser humans.
At least in the real world you can see the colour of their eyes and the sincerity behind their smiles.
Go join book clubs, get yourself enrolled at the Tech for evening classes, pick a small and safe local where you can spend evenings socialising and develop your interests in the company of others rather than in an insular and isolated lifestyle.
It's all out there, but it won't come to you; you have to go out there and find it.
Good luck, Godspeed and good hunting :o)
July 21st, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I am 35, never married and no kids, one of a kind, all my friends are now married with kids. However actualy meeting friends is not difficult at all.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:59 pm
The better the quisene the more enjoyable your dining
exsperience shall be, but first you must know what your
favorite food is, and how you want it to taste . . .
Simply put, it's the same way at the table of friendship,
what is your favorite activity, who and what are you about,
and most important, what situations accomendates your
comfort zone, these may sound trivial even irelavent yet
yet you'd be surprised how inadvertantly paramount these
things are, to finding a real true friend and not just a mere
aquaintance . . .
good luck 2u . . .